Say Goodbye to Complaining

Blog 21

We complain because we hope it will lighten our burdens, but it usually makes them feel heavier. We start exaggerating our troubles, and our gloom spreads to those around us. Pretty soon, minor irritations loom larger, and our health may decline.

While it would be difficult to stop complaining completely, you can train yourself to complain less and do it more constructively. Use these tips to help you deal with dissatisfaction.

4 Tips for Complaining Less:

1. Monitor your behavior. Studies show that chronic complaining rewires your brain so grumbling may become automatic. Count how many times a day you vent. Keeping a written journal may help. Note your personal triggers and how you feel after you vent.

2. Cultivate gratitude. You could also use your journal to increase your sense of appreciation, a powerful antidote to complaining. Remember the things you have to be grateful for and seize opportunities to thank others.

3. Seek positive attention. Do you whine to get attention? You’ll probably attract more empathy and validation with a cheerful attitude.

4. Set limits. Set realistic goals. Challenge yourself to give up complaining for an hour at a time and then extend that to a full day.

4 Tips for Expressing Dissatisfaction More Constructively:

1. Choose the proper channel. Think about your timing and ensure you’re complaining to the appropriate person. Your boss will be more likely to modify an assignment if you approach them first and discuss your concerns privately instead of airing them on Facebook.

2. Assume responsibility. Hold yourself accountable for your role in any situation. You’ll make it easier for others to cooperate with you, and you’ll be able to see where you can make changes.

3. Open up. Chronic complaining crushes hope. Listen to others’ perspectives instead of clinging to your own point of view and be open to the possibility for change.

4. Take action. Steer your discussions towards coming up with a concrete plan of action that you can implement and evaluate. Be prepared to do something about what’s bothering you even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Complaining reinforces negative thinking and compromises your wellbeing. Train your brain to complain less and focus on solutions when you do decide to discuss your dissatisfaction.

All the best!

Coach Dee

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